Thinking.

It's 6 in the morning, it's raining outside and I'm having a cup of hot coffee. There's this weird feeling visiting me today and I wonder what it's making me feel this way. It's probably the fact that I've been thinking a lot lately; thinking about university, about my career, about my life, about who I wanna be, about what I want... Thinking stresses me and planning my life too, but I can't help doing both things all the time.

I'm not talking about the unconscious thoughts we constantly have, I'm talking about thinking a lot, thinking too much. I'm thinking about what I think all the time, and this self-analysis of my thoughs it's what makes me wonder. Why can't I just think and have normal thoughts like most people do?

My thoughts take me somewhere else, my thoughts can cheer me up and can throw myself in a deep sea of tears. My thoughts can change my mind and can leave me stuck somewhere. My thoughts can make me feel like someone very important and can make me feel like the most miserable human being. My thoughts determine what I'm going to do, and after all, I end up thinking that I didn't like my choice.

I wish I could stop thinking.